Write Yourself Clean

a baptism, a forest fire.

1.

The morning after I did not die, I:

Walked up the hill

(in case they were waiting)

Ubered home

(from a few blocks away)

Flinched at every sound

Barricaded the door

Hid in my bed

   — Thursday, November 16th 2023

2.

I wrote a poem a long time ago that included the lines:

“I will not shut up.

I will not behave.”

Today, my best friend said I’m finally beginning to embody this.

3.

There is so much space and no rush. A postcard on the wall above my desk:

“A lot can happen in a year.”

4.

“things so deadly they seem like fun”

— Yrsa Daley-Ward