October Is Here & I’m Scared

I totaled my car & it’s still all crushed parked out front

I totaled my car. It’s still out front all crushed & I still haven’t talked to the claims department that keeps calling me from the insurance company.

I am now even more scared of driving.

I never thought it was natural or right for humans to be moving so fast.

I cannot keep Carl (the pretty boy puppy) from licking Sam’s (the old Great Dane) dick. Sam tells him off with raised lips & Carl starts licking Sam’s inner ears instead.

I applied for art school here in Birmingham. I’m waiting to hear back.

I am trying to spend so little money so we can get out of debt.

I am trying to be less selfish.

I am trying to keep the house cleaner to help my brain relax. I’m Sisyphus.

Someone told me Sisyphus was happy because he found meaning in it.

I do not fine meaning in it.

I relapsed a week ago. I learned from it. I don’t actually view it as any kind of failure.

I cannot stop eating these giant ass juicy blueberries Walmart is somehow selling?

I have so much to share with you soon.

Yours,

Kait